“This journey of choosing an Egg Donor showed me how unique every person in this world is”
Having a baby on your own is the most cherished dream of most women. Unfortunately, some women struggle a lot to have their own genetic baby and are advised to udergo Donor Egg IVF treatment.
Donor Egg IVF is often suggested for patients who are no longer producing eggs, either due to menopause or due to a condition called Pre-mature Ovarian Failure. There may be women who have eggs of very poor quality and these eggs do not have the potential to produce a baby. Donor Egg IVF is the solution for all such women who can not get pregnant with their own eggs.
Deciding to have a baby with Egg donor’s help is undoubtedly a very well thought-out decision you need to take in life. Once you have taken that decision based on medical advise, the next crucial step is “Choosing the right Egg Donor. “
There can be so many thoughts that come to the would-be parents’ minds while choosing an egg donor. A couple was once heard discussing right before meeting the egg donor- “Can my baby have same eyes as me?” “Can she enjoy reading as much as I do?” Such emotional questions and thoughts- aren’t they?
Being emotionally ready before choosing an egg donor is very important as using donated eggs to conceive is not an easy decision after all. After so many unsuccessful treatments and hardships there isn’t any time left to mourn or grieve. So choosing the right donor right away is the first step towards this journey in a positive way.
Known Donor Vs Unknown Donor
The first and the foremost step is if you wish to go for a known donor- someone from the family or a close relative or an unknown chosen through an egg donor database. Unknown donors are preferred over known as the former does not reveal any identity whereas the latter gives an opportunity to form a relationship with the donor which might turn out to be stressful in the later stages. In India, the Indian Council for Medical Research (ICMR) allows only anonymous (Unknown) egg donation.
Medical history of donor
It is an important factor considered while reviewing a donor. It is very difficult to find someone who has the same phenotypic characters as yours but certain factors in the medical history make some donors more compatible than others.
Blood group – While choosing an anonymous donor it is advisable to choose a matching blood group. Depending on the husband and wife’s blood groups, their own genetic child can have only some combination of blood groups. It is preferable to have a donor that has a blood group similar to the husband or the wife. Deciding to use an egg door is an extremely private decision, and no one else, not even the child itself needs to know about this.
Physical appearance of the donor
This is one characteristic that everyone gets attracted to. Physical characteristics include hair color, eye color; skin color etc. As it is but obvious that unlike intelligence physical appearance is something that cannot be nurtured. All parents would want their kid to match their ethnicity and appearance. So yes, this is one of the major factors considered.
Education of the donor
An educated donor may be a preferred option for the couple who is highly educated. However, one must bear in mind that education depends a lot on the opportunities available to a person. An uneducated donor does not mean that she is not intelligent. It simply means that she did not have the opportunity and the resources to have higher education.
Is it safe to go for a repeated donor?
Well, there is absolutely no issue in opting for a donor who has already donated her eggs in the past. In fact, it is perhaps better to go for this, as a repeated donor would know exactly about the process and would respond better to this entire process.If she has given positive pregnancies in the past, then this proves her fertility. There is no guarantee in using a repeated donor but yes definitely some advantages are offered. The prevailing laws of each country should be strictly followed as to the number of times one donor can be used.
Dealing with the stress involved
It is okay to be emotional through this entire process as this is a challenging process and finding a donor can be stressful. But one should forget about the hurdles and only think about the fruits of this process. One of the recipient parents once wrote: “I was always very uneasy about choosing an Egg donor for my baby but once I saw her I knew in my mind- She’s the one!”
For all parents to be- nothing worth having comes easy – this struggle is part of the beautiful reward at the end!